An imaginative sergeant stationed in the Balkans managed to come up with a list of 213 different things that he was forbidden to do.
A few favourites, to give the flavour:
2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I did bring enough for everybody.
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision
87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.