February 3rd, 2004

South Park

Things You Can't Do In The US Army

(Gacked from Amygdala.)

An imaginative sergeant stationed in the Balkans managed to come up with a list of 213 different things that he was forbidden to do.

A few favourites, to give the flavour:

2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'.

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I did bring enough for everybody.

48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision

87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.